All About Love: New Visions by bell hooks

By bell hooks

"The note "love" is in general outlined as a noun, yet...we may all like to larger if we used it as a verb," writes bell hooks as she comes out struggling with and on fireplace in All approximately Love. right here, at her so much provacative and extremely personel, the well known pupil, cultural critic, and feminist skewers our view of affection as romance. as an alternative she deals a proactive new ethic for a humans and a society bereft with lovelessness.

As bell hooks makes use of her incisive brain and razor-sharp pen to blow up th query "What is love?" her solutions strike at either the brain and middle. In 13 concise chapters, hooks examines her personal look for emotional connection and society's failure to supply a version for studying to like. Razing the cultural paradigm that the proper love is infused with intercourse and wish, she offers a brand new route to love that's sacred, redemptive, and therapeutic for the members and for a state. The Utne Reader declared bell hooks one of many "100 Visionaries Who Can switch Your Life." All approximately Love is a strong confirmation of simply how profoundly she can.

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Sample text

As children do, we pretended to accept this grownup logic; but we knew in our hearts it was not right. We knew it was a lie. " There is nothing that creates more confus ion about love in the minds and hearts of children than I 7 ALL ABOUT LOVE unkind and/or cruel punishment meted out by the grownups they have been taught they should love and respect. Such children learn early on to question the meaning of love, to yearn for love even as they doubt it exists . On the flip side there are masses of children who grow up confident love is a good feeling who are never punished, who are allowed to believe that love is only about getting your needs met, your desires satisfied.

And so they learn that lying is a way to avoid being hurt and hurting others . Lots of children are confused by the insi stence that they 3 4 HONE ST Y: BE TRUE TO LOVE simultaneously be honest and yet also learn how to practice convenient duplicity. As they mature they begin to see how often grown-ups lie. They begin to see that few people around them tell the truth. I was raised in a world where children were taught to tell the truth, but it did not take long for us to figure out that adults did not practice what they preached.

Then there was the night an older sister lied and said she was baby-sitting when she was actually out on a date . " While the violence of his response created in us a terror of the consequences of lying, it did not alter the reality that we knew he did not always tell the truth. His favorite way of lying was withholding. " The men I have loved have always lied to avoid confrontation or take responsibility for inappropriate behavior. In Dorothy Dinnerstein's groundbreaking book The Mermaid and the Minotaur: Sexual Arrangements and Human Malaise, she shares the insight that when a little boy learns that his powerful mother, who controls his life, really has no power within a patriarchy, it confuses him and causes rage .

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